Not Before I Say Goodbye
by wencho17
Summary: Seth was world heavyweight champion, at the pinnacle of his career, Shane's first pick to lead a new-era of Raw. He had it all, he was happy. Yet when Roman and Dean were drafted to Smackdown, he couldn't help but feel an unexpected sense of disappointment that the three of them would be separated. Why? Well, they do say: "you don't know what you've got til its gone." One-shot.


A/N – Here there! Just a little thought that popped into my head that I wanted to put down on paper. As always, would love to hear your thoughts. Enjoy!

It was one thing when he was the one in control of the situation, separating himself from the Shield by his own volition, his own choice. But in the middle of the fifth round of the brand split draft, when he heard Dean Ambrose's name come out of Stephanie's mouth, something changed.

No longer was Seth the one holding all of the cards. No longer was he in the position of power. This wasn't an instance of him holding a steel chair, wielding with it all of the possibilities of his future, the one without them. This was something he couldn't stop, something he shouldn't have wanted to stop. And yet he did. He wanted nothing more than to stop the draft right there, to work some behind the scenes deal so that he too could be a part of the Smackdown roster which now featured both Dean and Roman Reigns.

Why did he want to be a part of that same roster? That was a good question.

Given the way he had treated them, given the way he still treated them, there was no logical reason for why Seth would care so much that he would be on a separate brand. It wasn't even if the relationship between the three had gotten any better since he returned from his injury. In fact, in some ways, it probably got even worse given what Seth felt were the unexpressed expectations he would have returned a "changed man."

Sure Seth had been given the time to really think about things and maybe he did come to some conclusions about his actions, but when he came back, the first thing he did was focus on the belt, the one he needed to make damn sure everyone knew, he had never lost.

Once again, he was making decisions because of the championship, because of this likely misguided idea that he was nothing without it. Having ascended the global ranks, Seth knew this wasn't the case, but he couldn't help but tie the entirety of his self-worth to the thing.

Maybe that was in part because the title had been the only thing that mattered to him that he had left. It had been the one thing that he had been so willing to give up everything for, the thing that led to the risks he decided to take, the decisions he opted to make, the brotherhood he found so easy to break.

And at the time, it was. This wasn't an instance of anyone forcing him to do something he never wanted to do nor was it Triple H manipulating him or playing any sort of game. He knew the fans wanted to believe there was more to it, that maybe Hunter had threatened Dean or Roman if Seth didn't play along and that this was all just a long con so Seth could protect his brothers. He knew they wanted to believe he was better than the guy who would just so callously throw his friendships away but the sad truth was what he did, he did because of opportunity. He did it because he saw a chance to ascend within the company ranks and knew he'd be stupid not to take it. Not because of some fictional, fan-created notion that it was going to come out his motivations were just and pure as opposed to be ego-driven and bitter. That somehow he was the squeaky clean babyface hero in all of this.

But he wasn't a good guy. He wasn't a hero. He was just an ordinary, flawed human being with big dreams who was willing to do anything to get to the top.

So did he regret his decision to break up the Shield? No. He couldn't. But did he regret the manner in which he did it? The blind-sided attack, the chair to the back, the cinderblocks to the head? Yeah. If there was one conclusion he came to during his months on the shelf it was that. It was that if given the chance to do it again instead of issuing cheap shots he would have shown his brothers a little more respect. He would have come to them and told them it was time for their association to come to an end.

And the more Seth thought about it, the more he realized they probably would have understood. At the very least, the three could have talked about it in a manner that was a little more fitting of their over two-year friendship.

Seth sighed as he looked down at the title on his shoulder.

Just a few weeks ago, it was one of the happiest moments of his career. He and Roman had given it literally all they had, so much so they could barely stand by the end of it. But they fought like men and they fought like champions, which as far as Seth was concerned, they both were.

But at the end of the night, it was a pedigree and a 1-2-3 that decided the actual champion. He remembered the jubilation as he fell to his knees, both in celebration and because quite frankly he was too weak to stand. The confetti fell and the referee put the title back in his hands, where it never should have left in the first place.

Seth remembered looking over at Roman, the same look on his face the night that Seth cashed in at Wrestlemania. He was demoralized, heart-broken, but this time, there was something else in his eyes. In addition to the pain of losing the title, Seth saw understanding. He saw understanding that the two of them threw everything at one another and that the better man won. And even though neither said the words, Seth could tell that Roman would acknowledge that if someone asked him his feelings on the match.

There was no cheating, there was no outside interference. No J&J, no Corporate Kane, no Authority, no Bloodline, no Ambrose. No cash-in. This was just the two of them in the match and out of it grew a mutual respect. It was one that Seth was starting to think would have been there all along had he just handled things better on that fateful June day.

Blinking a few times, Seth found the stage mainly dwindled, just a few more picks left to be made. He stood with the Raw roster, an incredible group of talented superstars no doubt. But none of them would ever be Dean and Roman. Even the ones he shared history with from his time in the indies. None of that amounted to the two years of brotherhood, the bond the three shared every time their fists came together in the ring and they echoed the words, "Believe in the Shield."

Seth caught himself unable to look away from Dean and Roman who were happily stood next to each other, excited for this new chapter. Like they had since their Survivor Series debut, the two would be facing it together as brothers. And as much as he hated to admit it, again for reasons he wasn't entirely sure of or at least reasons he was willing to lie to himself about, Seth found himself feeling slightly jealous.

He had wished the three of them would have been on Raw or Smackdown together. Sure that wouldn't be a magic solution to all of the bad blood but at least the opportunity to make things right would be there. Because that was the other thing. Even though Seth had forged his own path, his brothers were always just a locker room away. If the day ever came when he could put his pride aside and admit to them how much he wanted his friends back, they would be there. But now, with him on Raw and them on Smackdown, that opportunity was quickly fading into the rearview mirror.

The stage finally cleared and the two rosters stood in opposition to the other, as if imaginary but very real battle lines had been drawn in the middle of the arena. Seth stood behind Shane, showcasing the cocky arrogance he had become known for. He looked over Roman, who stood slightly to the left of Stephanie. He knew if he looked at him, he would break. And he knew then and there that Roman, always the observant one, would see right through the façade he was putting on it that moment.

"You two are going to lead Raw to its best years ever," Shane whispered as he wrapped his arms around Seth on the left and John Cena, the top face of the company, on the right. "C'mon, Roman and Kevin Owens? If there's ever a chance to prove brand supremacy I'd bet on you two any day of the week."

John just nodded as Seth swallowed hard. Shane smiled at him and he faked one in response.

Well, it wasn't entirely fake. Seth was thrilled to be in this position. He was the World Heavyweight Champion, Shane's first pick to lead the new era of Raw, and he was at the pinnacle of his professional wrestling career. To the outside observer, he had everything one could ever want.

But Seth saw what they didn't see and that was the hug Roman and Dean shared before they headed backstage now that the show was off the air. It was the fist bump they enjoyed that had come to resemble a puzzle missing its final piece. And it was just the genuine happiness of being best friends, of being brothers.

He had the title, the glory, the accolades, the fame and fortune. But he didn't have that. And no amount of words from Shane would change the fact that deep down he knew how much he missed it, how much he desperately wanted it.

Following his new team, Seth headed back to the locker room. Shane had invited all of them out for drinks to celebrate but there was something he had to do first. So Seth told the boss he'd catch up with them.

Quite honestly, he wasn't even really in the mood to go out. It had been a long day and an ever longer night. His body could have gone another couple of hours sure, but his mind had been emotionally exhausted. He never expected the brand split would have hit him so hard. But then again, he never really considered the possibility that he would have been separated permanently from Dean and Roman. Or the possibility that it would be bothering him as much as it was.

Knowing what he had to do, Seth packed up his things for the night and headed down the hall until he reached one of the larger, general locker rooms, one shared by Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, the Usos, Cesaro and two former Shield members, all of whom were coincidentally headed to Smackdown in less than a full day's time.

Hoping he'd catch his former brothers alone, Seth knocked on the door and was greeted by Roman.

"Didn't expect to see you here," Roman said plainly, little to no emotion filling his voice.

This made Seth nervous, more so than he expected.

"You uh, you alone in there?" was the first question Seth managed to get off his lips.

"Just me and Dean," Roman replied. "The others hopped a greyhound to the next town over, you know for Smackdown's first ever live show."

"And you guys didn't go with them?" Seth asked curiously.

Roman just shook his head. "Guess it's been too long for me to expect you to remember."

Seth furrowed his brow as he tried to figure out what Roman had been referring to.

"No, I didn't forget, I just," he panicked.

"You just, you know what, never mind, it's not important," Roman sighed. "What did you come here for?"

Seth was upset because he could read Roman's reaction. Whatever he had been forgetting clearly bothered the Big Dog more than he would care to admit. And that bothered Seth and this newfound, whatever the hell it was he had started to feel in the middle of the draft.

"I was hoping you and Dean uh, maybe had a minute?" Seth asked cautiously.

Roman didn't respond. Instead he opened the door the rest of the way, revealing Dean sitting on a box and removing the last of the tape on his wrists. Hearing the creak, Dean looked up and for the first time, he and Seth made direct eye contact.

Seth could see uncertainty mixed with pain in his former brother's face and quickly forced himself to turn away. As much as the break-up affected Roman, Seth always knew it cut Dean just a little bit deeper. Despite his awkward joviality during their Ambrose Asylum reunion, Seth knew there were still scars there that may never quite heal all the way.

"Do we have a minute Dean?" Roman finally asked.

The silence palpitated the small room as Dean just stared at Seth for a few seconds more. He didn't say a word, instead just nodded his head and went back to ripping the tape off with his teeth.

"So, talk," Roman said as the two headed to the corner of the room, Dean occasionally glancing in their direction.

"I was uh, hoping the three of us could talk," Seth said as he shuffled his feet back and forth.

Why the hell was he suddenly so nervous? He always had more confidence than he knew what to do with but now, it was like he was a broken shell of himself. All because of the two men unable to look him in the eye.

"He's a little busy right now," Roman said. "I'm sure he'll come over when he's done."

Seth just nodded as a lightbulb hit. "His ritual, his post-match ritual."

Roman chuckled slightly. "I'm impressed. Guess you haven't forgotten everything."

"Come on Roman, I haven't forgotten anything," Seth said, finding the relaxed look on Roman's face to be a bit of a much-needed confidence booster. There was a comfortability now and Seth could work with that.

"All that stuff I brought up at Ambrose Asylum, you know I still have all of those memories," he continued. "And that time when we Dolph got that party bus, and we all got wasted and damn, it was, it was Neville of all people, who threw up all over Dean and he was pissed and he said,"

Seth paused as he saw a smile flicker across Roman's face. This caused Seth to smile too.

"And he said, 'this is the last time I'm ever getting on a bus with any of you,'" Seth finished with a laugh. "See Roman, I told you I didn't forget. But man, that was two years ago and Dean still doesn't ride with the guys?"

"Something like that," Roman replied softly.

Sure Seth hadn't forgotten the incident, which was impressive one would suppose, but Roman couldn't help but wish he remembered a little more about that night. About how that was the last time the three rode together before Seth abandoned them for the Authority. About the conversation he had with Dean that night promising him nothing and no one was going to tear them apart. About that being the real reason Dean liked to travel alone or with Roman and how that was part of the reason why they would never just be able to pick up and start again.

Again, the room fell tense as Seth tried to regain his proverbial footing.

"So, first class of the brand new live Smackdown huh," Seth said as he danced around the subject, the comfortability and confidence that accompanied it once again lost. "You guys excited?"

Roman shrugged. He could tell Seth had wanted to say more but for now, he was just going to let this develop at the man's own pace.

"Dean was getting nervous we were gonna be split up," he replied. "So, it never really mattered if we went to Shane or Stephanie as long as we both ended up in the same spot."

Seth just nodded. "Yeah, that's real cool."

"And you," Roman continued. "Top pick, top brand, still the champ, the man. You've got it all don't you?"

"Something like that," Seth said, even though if he was being honest with himself or with Roman, he most certainly did not "have it all."

"Yeah and one less thing you have to worry about breathing down your back 24/7," added Dean as he ripped the last piece of tape off and walked over to where Roman and Seth were talking, briefcase in hand.

"Maybe you should take that tape and use it to attach the briefcase to your hand if you're just going to be carrying it around all the time," Roman smiled.

"Hey, you never know what could happen," Dean replied. "I've seen what happens when guys let their cases and their contracts get stolen. Speaking from experience, it's hilarious to be on the other side of that, probably not so hilarious to be the one getting green goo all over their face. And speaking of green goo, what exactly are you doing here anyway?"

This was his chance. The three of them were there, no one else. It was his chance to tell them that he was kind of disappointed the brand split was going to take them their separate ways, that he has wanted to apologize for doing things the way he did, that he missed their friendship and was wondering if it wasn't too late to try to get it back. Even if they would be on the road in Los Angeles while he was part of a tour up and down the East Coast.

"I just wanted to say good luck," Seth replied, unable to verbalize any of the thoughts plaguing his mind.

"That's it?" Roman questioned, having practically seen through Seth from the second he walked in the locker room. "Just good luck?"

"Yeah you know, luck, because you're going to need it," Seth tried again. "Smackdown is nothing compared to Raw and without me around, well, that brand is going to suffer. Not to mention you two won't be able to blame me anymore for all of your obvious failings."

Crap, Seth thought to himself. That was not at all what he was going for. Getting in the door was one step forward but now this was two steps back.

"Obvious failings huh?" Dean chimed in, immediately getting in Seth's face. "May I remind you that I have this and you have that and at some point, something is going to be done about it. Even if I do have to break into a couple of arenas and catch a plane to wherever Raw is gonna be that week. When I'm ready to cash in this bad boy, you won't even see it coming."

Like that, Dean headed back to the other side of the room and finished packing up his things.

"Don't mind him," Roman said, much to Seth's surprise. "He's just excited about the case. But I don't have to tell you that. You know the feeling."

Seth nodded. "You really think they'll let him come over to Raw to cash-in?"

"Do you really think anybody lets Dean do anything?" Roman added.

Seth smiled slightly. "You're right about that. Look, what I said about failings, I didn't,"

"You did, but its okay," Roman replied calmly before taking a deep breath of his own. By now he was sure of Seth's hesitancy. He was sure it had something to do with the fact that as of tomorrow, they worked for different brands. And even though Roman couldn't fully comprehend why, he tell by Seth's nervous expressions that it was bothering him more than he was letting on.

"Honestly, I think this is the best thing for us, being on separate brands," Roman just came right out and said it. "The three of us, we're not ready to get back what we had if we ever will be and if we were all together, you know we'd just be fighting over that title. You're the champ, I've got that rematch clause, Dean the case. It's better this way that we don't have to see you going out in that ring and pretending to be something you're not."

Seth was shocked. He knew Roman could read people but geez was he really that open of a book right now?

"The fans have always wanted that Shield triple threat though, ever since I hit you both in the back with that chair," Seth said somewhat regretfully. "And about that Roman,"

"Oh trust me the day will come when the three of us will fight in that ring," Roman said, not allowing Seth to finish his thought. "But maybe when that happens, when enough time has passed, we'll be doing it not as enemies but as friends."

"I think I'd like that," Seth said. "And I mean it though. Good luck on Smackdown."

"Good luck on Raw," Roman added.

"Guess this is goodbye?" Seth questioned.

"More like, 'see you at Summerslam,'" Roman replied.

No hug or handshake was needed. One probably would have been awkward anyway. Still, Seth left the locker room feeling better than he had before. He was right about Roman's apparent understanding and about Dean still holding a grudge. But one day he hoped, they could put that behind them and fight like men, like brothers.

And maybe once that happened, there would be a sense of closure. One book ending so that a new one for all of them could begin. He'd miss having Roman and Dean just a couple doors down but if being separated in the short term would lead to that long term chance to fix things, he'd take it in a heartbeat.

And besides, it wasn't like he'd never see them again. Summerslam, after all, was right around the corner. And who knows. Dean with his briefcase, Roman with his rematch clause, Seth with the title? Maybe that inevitable triple threat showdown as well as the prospect of reconciliation that came with it, was closer than any of them could have imagined.


End file.
